Monthly Archive for September, 2008

Noise

If someone had come to me, oh, a year ago and said “In one year, you will have a blog.  And all of your posts will be about your thinning hair” I would have looked at him and said gravely “Fuck You”.

Then I would have dreaded such a circumstance in the back of my mind for the next year, until now, when it would be happening.

It’s time to jump on the “As Seen on TV” bandwagon, or some such noise.

Speaking of Noise, there’s a fair bit in my head right now.  Externally, it’s crickets.  But internally it’s that curious feeling.  Not of curiosity, but that odd sensation of something ebbing away and something creeping back in.  Neither of those things, incidentally, is related to my hair.

Damn it, even attempting to steer clear of my hair as a topic just redoubles my focus on it.  Shit!

Noise.  The ebb and the creep which comprise the flow.  The internal room.  It’s filled with chatter.  With voice.  I guarantee it isn’t schizophrenic voice… and I totally just spelled schizophrenic right without spell check’s help, thank you.  It’s not that, it’s just the old internal monologue which I’m almost positive is perfectly natural.

If it’s not… let me know.

But it’s when the chemical concentration… something else changes.  Not for the worse… not sure if for the better.  But it’s different.

Hmm.  I don’t like how this sounds.  If it sounds bad… it’s not supposed to.

Gone Tomorrow.

I’m losing my hair.
I have been for a while now, despite my moderate age of 24 years.
Despite all of the other depressing things that I find to contend with, this stands out.
I just found out a day or two ago it’s actually worse than I realized.
How depressing.

My father lost his hair around the same time I am. Coincidental, because we are not blood relatives. Anecdotally amusing though, for that very reason.

First.

Since I haven’t slept, I might consider today to still be Wednesday, despite the fact that it is actually Thursday.  I will probably sleep soon.  It’s quite late – 2 am-ish.  About a half an hour ago I felt I was unable to sleep, at least in that particular moment.  What I set about doing was uploading this theme and customizing the header.  The header has actually been done for something like two weeks I think, maybe just one week, but I haven’t gotten to it.  That seems to be how it goes.

I wish it weren’t.  There’s nothing unappealing about getting things done.

I cut my hair today.  I might be getting better at doing it.  For a second there, I actually liked how it looked.  But I moved, and then the moment was lost.

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