It’s incredible how attractive the constant connectivity is. It’s phenomenal what you can do with it. You can be in contact with people thousands of miles away as if you were face to face. Any time of the day or night. Across timezones and borders and space itself.
Yet while connected at all moments possible it is still possible to have that void. That absence. That bizarre ability to feel unloved or alone in a crowded place or at least a place where you are in fact not alone.
Not physically alone.
I thought as I wrote this that it is foolish to seek such connectivity if some part of your brain tells you that there is no one to talk to. But then I realized well, well that’s just it isn’t it. To have new and convenient and present ways to reach out and to be reached feeds a need or a wish to eventually fill the gap and find whoever it is you’re looking for.
And then that tiny, all too legitimate voice pipes up from the far corners – it says if you are alone when you are not alone, no matter how many connections you have you will never connect, will you?
But I don’t know if that is totally true or not. I can’t tell anymore. I question everything and then wonder why I’m doing that.
What I do know is this.
I have to find out if that wheel can be oiled somehow.