So it’s hardly a week goes by where someone doesn’t tell me that I should be in standup comedy or be on Saturday Night Live or do an open mic night or have my own show or my own sitcom or movie or youtube or whatever. Why? Well because I’m so fucking funny of course.

These things, the fame or infamy or whatever, it’s just never appealed to me. I would regret nothing more than to lose the option of privacy. That roundly rules out any kind of notoriety.

However, my therapist of all people, thinks I’m funny as shit and while that is questionably good, I decided that one of the things I told him bore repeating to an audience.

I was telling him about work and how I know what I’m doing and it’s pretty good and all but sometimes things go over my head. Or whatever.

So I’m scanning bits out of a book (the author told me to so it’s cool) and I have to go a page at a time because it’s a book and a flatbed scanner. However it’s nice because the scanner automatically sends the document to the specified computer and you don’t have to move from the scanner back to the desk and back again over and over and over. I mean, the office is almost 29 feet long, come on! I sit in the middle and the scanner is ALL THE WAY at one side. Gawd!

Anyway I’m scanning and sending a page at a time and everything is fine for about seven or eight pages and then, out of no where, something changes. I go ahead and scan the next page and the scanner says “Oops, what are you doing?”

So I say “What?”

Scanner says “What are you doing?” I mean, not really but you get the idea.

I reply – “I’m sending this page to my computer”. Scanner asks what computers I think I’m sending this to. I explain that it’s the same computer I’ve been sending the past pages to and it says it knows nothing about this and doesn’t have a clue what computers I could possibly be talking about. “Well it’s my computer!”

“I don’t see any computers.”

“WTF??? It’s right there! I just scanned eight pages to it! Nothing’s changed! What the hell happened?”

The scanner insisted it had no idea. So I went over to the computer and told the computer to pull a scan from the scanner. Computer taps the scanner on the shoulder and says “Hey, sup?”

“O hai!” says scanner, promptly feeding the image to the computer.

I’m like “What the hell just happened?” and everything was fine from there.

….

Listen, the therapist was rofl. Seriously. I mean, not literally. But seriously.